How a Biblical Counselor Thinks about Panic Attacks

by Ed Welch at CCEF

If someone tells you she has panic attacks, how do you begin to use Scripture as your guide? (I am choosing panic attacks almost randomly. It is one of a dozen or so psychiatric diagnoses that is relatively common and not clearly identified in Scripture.)

Get a description

First you have to know the basic description of a panic attack. You can get this from two sources: the person, or the more formal criteria in American Psychiatric Associations Manual, the DSM-IV. The two descriptions will usually be similar but not identical. You might as well get both.

Here is the DSM-IV criteria. Let’s say that many of them match the person’s experience. The symptoms start abruptly and reach a peak in around ten minutes. They include at least four of the following: accelerated heart rate, sweating, trembling, feeling of being short of breath or choking, chest discomfort, nausea, feeling light-headed, feeling detached from the rest of the world, fear of losing control, fear of dying, numbness, chills, or hot flashes.

Click here to read the whole post.

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When Does Counseling End?

with Mike Emlet at Christian Counseling & Education Foundation

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Tedder’s Top Ten: Counseling Websites

Intensive Discipleship. That’s how I once heard counseling… at least “biblical or Christian counseling”… described. The idea is that every now and then folks in the church battle with particular sins, temptations, and various other struggles that require more focused attention than what can be received in a typical group Bible study. For those times there’s the need for one-on-one counseling, or, intensive discipleship.

The thinking behind this is that very often these issues are spiritual in nature. God’s Word is sufficient to diagnose what’s going on in that person’s life as well as to offer the solution to the problem at hand. Hey, it worked for 1,800 years or so before Freud came on the scene. Believe it or not, the Church actually cared for such needs. That’s why pastors were quite often referred to as physicians or shepherds of souls (and that wasn’t just talking about salvation issues). (I refer you to Richard Baxter’s Christian Directory.)

The list below is made up of ministries that are doing a great job, not only of actually “doing” such counseling ministry, but also equipping, encouraging, and educating folks in the Church to do the same.

Remember my rule of thumb with how I choose which websites make my Top Ten list: “Online usefulness.” In other words, there are many ministries that are doing great things for Christ, but their websites may not be that helpful. With these Top Ten lists I’m trying to share the websites that will be the most useful to you – via articles, newsletters, blogs, video, audio and podcasting, training events, curricula, books, etc.

Here’s my list. As usual, these are in no particular order (after the first two… which I visit all the time)…

Grace and Truth,
Dale

1.) CCEF – Christian Counseling & Education Foundation - These guys have been around a long time and are getting better with age. They are keeping their website fresh and relevant and the content is second to none. Great stuff here.

2.) Counseling Solutions - Rick Thomas is one of the most prolific guys I know. And, full disclosure, he got me up and running with my wordpress blogging. But I sought him out only because of the great job he was doing with his counseling ministry online. More resources here than you’ll even know what to do with. Great site! Great ministry!

3.) American Association of Christian Counselors - Their strength is in their training programs, conferences, and their magazine, “Christian Counseling Today.” They are working on becoming more user-friendly, but for now, you may have to “work” a little to find what you’re looking for. But your effort will be well worth it.

4.) National Association of Nouthetic Counselors (NANC) – They are primarily an equipping ministry, though their online usefulness is growing. I have been a part of their training programs and they are excellent.

5.) Faith Biblical Counseling - These folks have an incredible church counseling ministry. And their website is getting exponentially better and better. They have an awesome webstore where you can get great books and audio/video resources to help you learn more about how to counsel or particular issues Christians face. Great stuff.

6.) Association of Biblical Counselors - Great website with a growing list of resources – blogging, articles, audio, video, etc. You can also become a member and get access to some resources that are very helpful in counseling or teaching.

7.) Brad Hambrick’s blog is very helpful on subjects related to counseling. Brad does a great job of keeping it up to date.

8.) Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship (IBCD) – This is another example of a ministry that has been around for years doing great things for the Kingdom. But now their website is improving quickly and become a great resource center. Love it.

9.) Peacemaker Ministries - Ken Sande and company are great on the topics of peacemaking, reconciliation, etc., for couples, families, churches, etc. They have a wide ranging ministry that you really ought to check out.

10.) Biblical Counseling Center - I already loved these folks. But even since I last stopped by their site they have “super-improved” their website. Fantastic! Lots of great resources. Easy to get around and find what you’re looking for. You need to check them out.

Well, I have had to force myself to stop at listing only ten. Frankly, there are several others that absolutely deserve to be on this list. But, I have to draw the line somewhere, so I want to encourage you to also check out other great counseling websites by clicking here.

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Spiritual Life Checkup (Part 4: Attitudes and Motivations)

Click here to read Part 1: Introduction 
Click here to read Part 2: Devotional Life
Click here to read Part 3: Intellectual Life

The recommended article to go along with these questions is a review with Paul Tripp and Timothy Lane about their book, How People Change at CCEF. 

1.      Do you feel you are a more accepting, forgiving, and loving person than you have been? ________ Expand:

2.      Do you feel you are stronger against temptations than you used to be (to be impatient, angry, greedy, lustful, etc.)? ________  Expand:

3.      How do you usually respond to sin in your life?

4.      Do you understand what it means to repent?________ Explain:

5.      What are the primary temptations and sins you find yourself struggling with?  Would you like help in fighting these as you seek to be obedient to God?

6.      Do you understand what it means to become Christlike and find your identity in Christ alone? ________ Expand:

7.      Is there anything in your life that you are putting before God? (your family, your comfort, your job, etc.)?

8.      When you fail, what happens within you?

9.      When you succeed, what happens within you?

10.  Do you worry or experience fear and anxiety often? ________ How do you respond?

Grace and Truth,
Dale

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Spiritual Life Checkup

by Dale Tedder 

Are you moving on to perfection? That’s a question asked to every ordained clergy person in the United Methodist Church. It’s a question of intent. It’s not asking if you’ve “arrived” but if it’s your intention to move in that direction. Our founder, John Wesley, believed it was important for Christians to be moving toward Christian maturity… toward the very likeness of Christ himself.

This is the time of year when we start thinking about changes we want to make in our lives. That’s natural since we are about to say goodbye to this year and hello to a new one. And, if we have any self-awareness at all, we know there are areas in our lives that, in some cases, need a little fine-tuning and in other cases, need complete renovation.

I recently read an article that said that we’re used to getting “physicals” so that we can determine how our physical health is. But, the author wondered, how often do we get “spirituals” to check out our spiritual health? About eight or nine years ago I put together a little pamphlet that I entitled, “Spiritual Life Checkup.” It consisted of a variety of questions to help folks in our Southside family assess how they were doing in their walk with Christ. It got a good response from those who took advantage of the opportunity of using it.

I thought it might be a good idea to pull that spiritual self-examination out of the archives, dust it off, tweak it a little, and make it available once again. As Minister of Discipleship at Southside, I sincerely want to educate, equip, and encourage you in your faith. I believe this is part of the process that God uses in our lives to move us toward growing in the likeness of Christ – both inwardly and outwardly.

John Wesley said there is no holiness (or Christlikeness) that is not social holiness. In other words, we seek to become more like Christ, not merely for ourselves, but also for the purpose of exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit in our daily relationships as well as serving and ministering to others.

Please let me know how I may serve you this year. Bible studies? Small groups? One-to-one discipleship? Spiritual direction? Pastoral counseling? I want, with all my heart, to be used of Christ in your lives. If there is any way in which I can help you move toward the likeness of Christ in your own life, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

PS – As soon as the new-and-improved Spiritual Life Checkup pamphlets are ready, we’ll let you know and make them available in the front office.

Grace and Truth,
Pastor Dale

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Book Review: Anger & Stress Mangement God’s Way, Part 3

(This is actually an older post, but in the spirit of my new feature on book reviews, I’m “reprinting” it.)

Chapter Three: Learning to Be Good and Angry

Not much commentary on this chapter. Just a few good bullet points to mention…

“What does not come naturally is dealing with our anger in a God-honoring way.”

 

1.) “The first aspect of learning to be good and angry is dealing with problems on a regular, daily basis.” (Ephesians 4:26-27)

 

When we don’t, “Other things have been added to the original offense, and now [the angry person] is harboring a mountain of anger in [his]
heart.

The following quote is good for parents or spouses. It’s also good for those in a counseling setting…

“Whenever we see a person responding with an unsual amount of emotion and anger to what most people would consider a miniscule thing, we can be sure that person has had much unexpressed anger, simmering under the surface, from prior events. This person’s response to that one problem was really a reaction to that and many other things that he has not yet dalt with because he was not resolving his anger on a regular basis.”

“There are only two ways to deal righteously with a conflict that we have with another person.”

• “One we can overlook the offense (1 Peter 4:8; Proverbs 10:12; 19:11). …It is generally better to reserve confrontation for spiritual issues that are clearly sin issues, issues that will bring reproach on Christ and serious damage to other people.”
• “The second way of dealing with a conflict we have with another person is: When we experience their sin, then, as Matthew 18:15 says, we are to go privately to that person for the purpose of resolving the proglem. The purpose of that meeting should be only for promoting reconciliation and unity, not for criticizing or condemning.”

“These two principles should be applied in our relationships with friends or colleagues and they should be implemented in our marrige relationships.”

I think this next point is a very important one.

2.) “The second aspect of learning to be good and angry is understanding that we can control and restrain the expression of anger. If we are Christians, we have the means to control the expression of our anger.

(The whole chapter is worth reading for the two examples Mack gives on pages 45-46)

“We can and we do control our anger when the motivation is great. When we fail to control our anger, it’s because we don’t consider the takes high enough.”

“In all places, at all times, we must recognize the fact that as Christians indwelt by the Holy spirit we do have the power to control our anger. We must realize that when we fail, it’s by choice.”

3.) “The third aspect of learning to be good and angry is taking time to examine the reasons for our anger. Whenever we start to become angry, we should immediately stop what we’re doing and think about what is happening.

The bottom line reason for much of our sinful anger is related to the fact that we have an agenda and someone or something is standing in the way of our fulfilling that agenda.

4.) The fourth aspect of learng to be good andangry is learning to harness the energy created by our anger.

Another good chapter. I would encourage you read this book. I would also suggest using it to counsel and/or mentor someone who may have an issue with anger. Or, perhaps, use it in a small group. It has many great questions… and digs into Scripture as well.

Blessings,
Dale

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Book Review: Anger & Stress Management God’s Way, Part 2

(This is actually an older post, but in the spirit of my new feature on book reviews, I’m “reprinting” it.)

Chapter Two of Mack’s book was also very good (I have a feeling I’m going to keep saying that for each chapter.).

Picking up where he left off in Chapter One, Chapter Two is entitled, “When Is Anger Wrong?”. He lists five more circumstances or situations when anger should be considered sinful anger.

1.) “Our anger is sinful when it involves brooding or fretting.” What does he mean by “fretting?” He writes…

“Fret is not a word we use much anymore, but it means to constantly think through distressing events in one’s mind while giving those events a negative slant. To put it in the words of Proverbs 30:33, fretting involves churning your displeasure into anger in the same way that milk is churned into butter. It means constantly dwelling on some personal slight, until what started as a small annoyance is built up into an enormous offense.”

Been there… done that. How often have you played and replayed an incident in your mind and by the time you were done, you were fuming… you were much, much angrier than when you first began thinking about it?

He writes, “…every time we play it over in our minds, the recording gets a little louder and a little stronger.” A little bit later on the same page he adds, “Like all sin, over time it begins to control [our] thinking.”

2.) “Our anger is sinful when we keep a running record of how we have been mistreated.”

Mack points out that “1 Corinthians 13:5 says that love does not keep a record of wrongs that have been done to it.”

I wonder how many of us carry around little score cards to keep up with everyone who offends us – each and every time they offend us.

Mack goes on to say that “Keeping a record of wrongs leads quickly to bitterness.”

I believe that this really is a self-destructive behavior. I also believe it leads to pity-parties with a woe-is-me attitude… with conversations with ourselves that sound like this: “Everyone is out to get me. Don’t believe me? Here’s my list.” No good can come from that.

3.) “Our anger is sinful when we pretend that we are not angry.”

Basically, this is an issue of truth-telling vs. lying. But Mack has an interesting take on how this plays out… especially in marriages. He offers the following example and draws out a principle…

“Over a period of time [of counseling a woman about a marriage issue] I discover that she is not responding in a biblical way. I know that her husband was responsible before God for what he did to provoke the problem, but I also know that she is responsible before God for prolonging the problem by her unbiblical response. There are some people who provoke trouble, and there are others who prolong trouble. In either case, whether a person is a provoker or a prolonger, that person is sinning.”

He adds…

“If someone sins against us, he is wrong; but if we respond sinfully, we are wrong as well. The other person’s sin does not excuse our own.”

Which are you: A Provoker or a Prolonger?

So, how do we act in a responsible manner regarding our anger? Mack shares this good advice…

“To control my anger, I must recognize and acknowledge its presence and not play justification or denial games. I must put away lying and speak truth to myself, refusing to use euphemisms that tend to lessen the seriousness of my anger.

“…I must recognize that to be hurt or upset or slightly annoyed is only different in degree from being furious or enraged. I must understand that whether I’m slightly annoyed or infuriated, I’m handling the pressures of life in an ungodly way. Having done that, I find it helpful to go on to say, ‘Lord, you already know that I’m angry for the wrong reasons and being tempted to respond to it and express it in ungodly ways. I’m confessing this to you and to myself. I take full responsibility. Please forgive me and please help me to understand what would be a godly response, and then help me to actually respond in a biblically constructive way.”

4.) “Our anger is sinful when we return evil for evil or attack the person with whom we are angry.”

There are three ways this can happen…

A.) The anger can be expressed verbally.
B.) The anger can be expressed passively.
C.) The anger can be expressed physically.

5.) “Our anger is sinful when we attack or hurt a substitute.”

This basically means that we’re sinning when we take the anger we feel toward one person and unleash it on another person.

Chapter Three is on, “Learning to Be Good and Angry.”

SDG,
Dale

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