This Week in Godly Manhood

I’ve started a new blog that I’m calling, Pursuing Godly Manhood. Below are a few highlights from this week’s postings. I would love for you to take a look around it and let me know what you think… what’s missing… etc.

Enjoy,
Dale

About

• About Pursuing Godly Manhood

Godly Manhood

• Tony Evans on Biblical Manhood, Part 1
• Every Man, God’s Man
• The Upright Man
• The Godly Man and God’s Word

Marriage

• Reforming Marriage

Fatherhood

• Our Life for Theirs: A Multi-Generational Vision

Fathers & Daughters

• You Want to Date My Daughter?

Shepherding Sons

• From Boyhood to Manhood
• Shepherding Sons

Work & Vocation

• Men at Work

Worldview

• A Godly Man’s Worldview

Men’s Ministry

• Leave No Man Behind

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YOU want to date MY daughter?

from my new  blog, Pursuing Godly Manhood…

I once heard a pastor say something along these lines: “I wouldn’t let a stranger drive my car… so why would I let him drive off with my daughter?” Good question.

Someone who had the opportunity to think a great deal about daughters and dating is Dennis Rainey, from the ministry, Family Life. Rainey became famous (or, perhaps better, infamous) in his community for interviewing his four daughter’s perspective dates. I just started reading his book, Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date: 8 Steps to No Regret, in which he shares the “why” and “how” of his interviewing philosophy.

Click here to read the whole post.

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My Life for Theirs: A Multi-Generational Vision

Here’s a snippet from a new post at Pursuing Godly Manhood…

My life for yours. Training and nurturing our children in the Lord – when we rise, when we go to bed, as we live throughout the day, when it’s convenient, when it’s inconvenient – making sure that our children are not merely “taught at” but saturated in the things of God each day, all day – because they are eternal beings and heirs of the King. “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”

Are we leaving a godly legacy to and for our children and our children’s children for a thousand generations? Are we dying so they can live – really live? Can we think outside our individual lives to see how our own deaths will extend the Kingdom of God by producing many seeds? Will we believe the promises of God that he has made regarding faithful, covenantal parenting? My life for yours and for a thousand generations after you. Talk about a payoff!

Click here to read the whole post.

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Courageous: The Movie – This Friday

Back in May I shared the news that a great new movie for everyone… but especially dads and dads-to-be was coming out in September. Well, this Friday it will be here. Details and trailers are below, but I wanted to point out that a movie’s lifespan at the theatres depends greatly on its opening weekend. Therefore, I want to encourage you to go and see the movie this weekend, whether it’s with your friends, your son(s), your father, your men’s group, or whomever… just GO!

I’m hoping to have a group (or perhaps several groups) from our men’s ministry at Southside invading one of the theatres here in Jacksonville this Friday night.

Here’s the trailer for the movie…

Here’s some information about the movie…

From Fathers.com -

Why should you see Courageous? The movie is full of lessons for dads. In just about every scene, there’s a powerful truth or insight that we could stop and talk about, probably for hours.

To get some snapshots of what the movie is about, see this video of the song “Courageous” by Casting Crowns – from their new CD, Come to the Well.

As the song says, “Where are you, men of courage?
You were made for so much more.”

Isn’t that a strong call for all of us to step up in our role as fathers?

You probably know by now that there’s a clear faith emphasis in this film. Maybe you’re on board with that, but even if you aren’t, I hope you’ll still give it a chance. I’m quite certain there’s still a lot in this movie that will inspire you to be the father your children need. Find out more or reserve your tickets at courageousthemovie.com.

Also, there are some fantastic resources available that go right along with the movie’s message. You can get this music from Casting Crowns (now available for pre-order) here. Or, see the new books available that complement the movie, such as The Resolution books for men and women, and my new book, The 21-Day Dad’s Challenge, which is out very soon.

Here are some ministries that have partnered with the folks who produced the movie.

Here’s Courageous the Movie’s YouTube channel with lots of clips, reviews, etc., from and about the movie.

I hope to see you at the movie.

Grace and Truth,
Dale

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Guarding Our Daughter’s Moral Purity

A nervous father interviews his daughter’s date.

by Dennis Rainey at FamilyLife.com

I was seated at my desk, barely able to concentrate. I shifted papers, opened drawers, glanced out the window. Shifted papers, opened drawers, glanced out the window. Shifted papers … I felt like I was expecting an important phone call and was just trying to do something, anything, productive while waiting. But it wasn’t working.

Neither was I.

Finally, my executive assistant informed me that the young man I’d been expecting was waiting for me in the lobby.

Deep breath, Dennis. You’re the adult here. You can do this. I was about to interview the first of many young men who wanted a date with one of my daughters.

I stood to my feet and walked across the room, still amazed at how nervous I was as I stepped into the lobby to meet Kevin—the only person in the building more anxious and ill at ease than I.

“Afternoon, Kevin, glad you could make it.”

“Hello, Mr. Rainey.”

“How about we get something from the Coke machine. I hear you’re a Dr. Pepper man.”

“Yes, sir.”

Riding a very thin wave of forced, uncomfortable chitchat, I deposited enough quarters to dislodge a cold can for him and a Diet Coke for me. Then, not wanting to be the Ultimate Intimidator, I suggested we go outside and chat in the parking lot. That’s where he showed me his motorcycle—which wasn’t exactly how I wanted Ashley to go out on her first date!

I popped the tab on my soft drink and looked squarely into the same eyes that enjoyed looking at my sixteen-year-old daughter. We began with the basics. I asked him about school, his mom and dad and family, interests—just a general get-to-know-you type of conversation.

Click here to read the whole article/interview.

Click here to get Rainey’s book, Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date

Here is Reb Bradley’s sample application to court his daughter. (this is a real one)

Here is a very funny application to date someone’s daughter. I think the questions seem quite reasonable. I just might use it.

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A Few More Notes on Family Worship

Here are the rest of my notes from this past Sunday’s lesson on family worship. Click here to get the notes from part 1.

Possible outline for your family time together…

Caveat: What I have provided in this packet is a variety of different resources for Family Worship. By no means would or should you try to do all the things I have provided. I tried to include things that would be appropriate for the various ages that might be around the table in a variety of families. In fact, it might be better to use these resources throughout several days, not just during one day. Here’s a sample of what you might include during your time of Family Worship…

Open in prayer (it might be a good time to pray for the Lord’s blessing during your time together and to thank God for the opportunity to get together.)

Read something from the Bible. (in your packet I have included a chapter from the Psalms as well as a Bible story from the book of Acts). Not all children’s story Bibles are created equal. Of course, the best book to read is the Bible itself. But there are some fine Bible story books that faithfully capture the biblical text and yet communicate the text in a way that is helpful to children of a variety of ages (including the adults). Click here to learn more about the one that we use.

Sing a hymn or praise chorus (or even the Doxology or Gloria Patri). Remember this is Family Worship. Worship includes singing. When your kids are young, they think you sing great, no matter what the truth is. Worry less about how you sound and more about doing it. If you need to, buy some CDs with songs you know. As my children get older, we’re able to sing hymns from our hymnals. You can purchase used hymnals at used bookstores, flea markets, etc. Buy one whenever you see one. Old hymnals are great spiritual investments.

Read a devotional. (the good thing about devotionals is very often they come with questions, prayers, etc. You can really get the children involved with these.) One of our favorites is called, Sticky Situations. A moral/spiritual dilemma is presented for each day of the year. And for each dilemma, four or five possible responses are offered along with an appropriate Bible verse to help your family reflect on what the right choice should be. My kids LOVE doing this.

Apostles’ Creed, Lord’s Prayer, or Catechism. Work on memorization. Catechisms were used throughout most of Christian history to teach children (and adults) through a sequence of stated questions and answers (with scriptural support). There are some good children’s catechisms available. You’ll be amazed at what your children can memorize. Memorizing is key (understanding it will grow as they get older). Of course, memorizing Scripture should be your top priority.

Prayer – Have time of prayer. Initially mom and dad lead. Take prayer requests. Remember the church, the sick, family, friends, etc. Also, pray for the day (or the next day). Start teaching your children to be thankful. Find things to thank God for. Also, start teaching your children how to pray for forgiveness (repentance). You’ll also want to spend time praising God for who he is. We also pray for missionaries and Christians around the world.

You don’t need to cover every aspect of prayer every single time you pray. But throughout a week, you ought to cover most of it. You don’t want your children growing up thinking that the only time you pray is when you need something from God.

Offer your family a benediction or blessing at the end. Make up something your family might remember and that will be meaningful to them throughout their lives (it could become a family tradition… as well as comforting). Or even better, find a blessing in the Bible and tweak it to make it your family’s official blessing.

Last thoughts…

Again, you won’t always cover all of these components every single time you gather for Family Worship. Sometimes you might. It might be that you do different things throughout the day (in the morning, at dinner, before bed, etc.).

At the end of the day, there’s no magic formula or resource. What will work best for your family will be what you follow through with. In other words, no matter how many resources you have, if you don’t use them, they won’t work for you. Find what works! Don’t stress out. But do something. Be intentional. Trust God.

Grace and Truth,
Dale

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Passing the Baton to the Next Generation

I’ve written many articles and posts, and preached my fair share of sermons on the topic of the importance (which doesn’t seem to be a strong enough word for my taste) of passing our faith on to the next generation. The covenantal nature of our faith requires that we pass it down from generation to generation. The practicality of keeping our faith alive and well, humanly speaking, also demands it.

I mentioned in another post that this past summer I taught a course by Jeff Myers called, Passing the Baton. It was outstanding. I highly recommend it. I told the folks in my church that this was not exclusively a parenting course. It was for any and all adults who work with children and youth, whether those children are your own or students you teach or mentor. We all have the opportunity to influence the next generation for Christ so that his Kingdom might be extended into every sphere of life. Myers helped our class understand the importance of passing on our faith, and was also very practical regarding how that could be done. Again, I highly recommend it.

Yesterday I received via email an article written by Myers (I’ve provided an excerpt and link below). It is a fantastic article which I encourage you to read and act on. But not only is it such a great article, it’s also timely. Here’s why: Today at lunch, my wife and I made plans to send our daughter to a camp this summer that is put on by the Worldview Academy. It’s basically like the Summit Ministries camp that Myers talks about, except that it’s for students 13-18 years of age. Awesome timing. (and by the way, we’ll definitely be sending our children, God willing, to the Summit Ministries camps when they’re old enough.

So, read the following article by Jeff Myers. And after you read that, take a look at some of the things I’ve written on this and similar topics (which I’ve linked below). If we would seek to change the world for Christ, then we must be intentional with those whom God has given us influence.

The Lord bless you,
Dale

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Here’s an excerpt…

This fall, nearly two million American students will leave for college for the very first time. Their education will cost $12,000 a year for a public university and up to $50,000 for a private one. Scholarships and grants reduce the cost for most families, but still, the Wall Street Journal reports that the average student leaves college with $23,186 in debt.

 Nationwide, the total cost for this transaction is somewhere between 25 and 40 billion dollars per year.

 At least families are getting their money’s worth.

 Or not.

 A recent study confirms what many parents have long suspected: going to college can make kids forget what’s important and embrace values that are counter to what they learned growing up.

 Before I share this study’s results, let me say this to parents: leftist professors don’t feel sorry for you. As far as they’re concerned, you’ve been oppressing the masses to get that money anyway, so it’s deliciously ironic that you not only turn your children over to the indoctrinators, but that you fork over 50k to 200k and for the privilege of doing so.

 Don’t take my word for it. Here’s what the late Richard Rorty, one of the most prominent philosophers of the 20th century, said on the subject:

Click here to read the whole article.

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And here are a few of posts that I’ve written on similar themes.

• Raising Her Up in the Lord
• Shaping Culture for Christ
• The Legacy We Leave to Our Children
• My Life for Yours
• Choose This Day
• Discipling Your Kids
• Some Thoughts on Family Worship
• Thoughts on Reading to Your Children
• Thoughts on A Covenant Home
• Pass It On
• Shepherding Sons
• From Generation to Generation
• Future Men (Introductory Thoughts)
• Generation Joshua
• Passing the Baton, Part 1
• Passing the Baton, Part 2
• Passing the Baton, Part 3

Hopefully those will get you started (or keep you moving) in the right direction.

Blessings,
Dale

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