What’s Your Reputation? (Men’s Midweek Devotional)

He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap. (1 Timothy 3:7)

You have probably heard the definition of character as “who you are when no one is looking.” You could also say that character is who you are when those who know you best are looking.

In this second chapter of The Measure of a Man, Gene Getz looks at what it takes to build a good reputation. This is rather a tricky area because some folks may enjoy a good reputation superficially because they’re able to reasonably fake it before people they don’t know well and with whom they associate only on an occasional basis. But living a life that builds a good reputation is hard to fake on a regular basis with those who know you best… such as the members of your family who know you most intimately.

Let me hasten to add that the expectation here is not that you’re expected to walk on water. As one person I recently read put it, the idea here is direction, not perfection. The question is: Are you moving in a godly, Christlike direction in your life?

In the Scripture at the top of the devotion, Paul is telling Timothy that the kind of person he should be looking for to exercise leadership in the church needs to have a good reputation. Christians are charged with hypocrisy enough as it is. And even if the charge isn’t always accurate, the mere perception can derail a life or a ministry. Worse still, we don’t want to misrepresent our Lord before a watching world.

Getz suggests that Timothy was such a person… a man with a good reputation. He highlights these three indicators…

1. People were saying positive things about Timothy.
2. More than one person was saying these positive things about Timothy.
3. People in more than one location were saying these positive things about Timothy.

It seems that wherever Timothy was and whomever he was with, he was a godly man living above reproach. Thus, he enjoyed a good reputation.

Ask Someone

Getz recommends that if you want to really know your reputation (as it relates to your genuine character) ask someone who knows you best. This might sting a little, but it’s a good way to get to the truth of who you are… and to serve you in becoming the godly man you want to become.

Ask Yourself

Just as important, we occasionally need to conduct a personal assessment of who we are and what we’re about, etc. Getz suggests asking yourself the following questions (these are great questions, by the way)…

1. Do more and more people select me as a person to share their lives with me?

2. Do people trust me with confidential information?

3. Do my relationships with people grow deeper and more significant the longer they know me and the closer they get to me? Or do my friendships grow strained and shallow as people learn to know what I am really like?

4. Does my circle of friends grow continually wider and larger? Do an increasing number of people trust me?

5. Do people recommend me for significant or difficult tasks without fear of my letting them down?

The point in all of this is not to build a reputation by duplicity and manipulation. To be sure, there are plenty of people doing that. Instead, our goal should be that as we grow in godliness, the authenticity of our increasingly Christlike character will be made evident to all. And that’s how we can represent our Lord well in this world.

Have a great rest of the week.

Your Brother in Christ,
Dale

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12 Point Profile of a Holy Person

I’m embarrassed and ashamed to say that after staring at it on my bookshelf for over 15 years, I have finally picked up J.I. Packer’s book, Rediscovering Holiness, and started reading it. It is extraordinary and I am kicking myself for waiting so long. (I’m also groaning over the fact that there’s a revised and updated version available. However, I’m going to resist the temptation and stick with my older copy. Ugh.)

Holiness is a topic that is near and dear to United Methodists (at least, it used to be). It certainly was to John Wesley and Packer gives several tips of his hat to both Wesley brothers. I’m looking forward to reading the whole book.

Of particular interest in the first chapter was Packer’s distillation of J.C. Ryle’s “12 Point Profile” of what a holy person looks like. It’s fantastic! I thought I would share bits and pieces of them with you below. The Apostle Paul encourages us in 2 Corinthians 13:5 to examine ourselves to see if we are “in the faith” (i.e., liberally administer spiritual assessments to yourself to see how you’re doing in your walk with Christ). I can think of no better list to measure yourself by then the following excerpts from Ryle. Before I do, however, let me quote Packer: “Being Victorian, [Ryle] said “man,” but he meant woman too.”

I pray the following truths will bless, encourage, convict, and lead you to greater holiness in your life.

Grace and Truth,
Dale

1.) Holiness is the habit of being of one mind with God, according as we find his mind described in Scripture. It is the habit of agreeing in God’s judgment, hating what he hates, loving what he loves, and measuring everything in this world by the standard of his Word…

2.) A holy man will endeavor to shun every known sin, and to keep every known commandment. He will have… a hearty desire to do [God's] will, a greater fear of displeasing him than of displeasing the world…

3.) A holy man will strive to be like our Lord Jesus Christ. He will not only live the life of faith in him, and draw from him all his daily peace and strength, but he will also labor to have the mind that was in him, and to be conformed to his image (Romans 8:29).

4.) A holy man will follow after meekness, longsuffering, gentleness, patience, kind tempers, government of his tongue.

5.) A holy man will follow after temperance and self-denial. He will labour to mortify the desires of his body, to crucify his flesh with his affections and lusts, to curb his passions, to restrain his carnal inclinations, lest at any time they break loose…

6.) A holy man will follow after charity and brotherly kindness.

7.) A holy man will follow after a spirit of mercy and benevolence toward others…

8.) A holy man will follow after purity of heart. He will dread all filthiness and uncleanness of spirit, and seek to avoid all things that might draw him into it.

9.) A holy man will follow after the fear of God. I do not mean the fear of a slave, who only works because he is afraid of punishment… I mean rather the fear of a child, who wishes to live and move as if he was always before his father’s face, because he loves him…

10.) A holy man will follow after humility. He will desire, in lowliness of mind, to esteem all others better than himself. He will see more evil in his own heart than in any other in the world…

11.) A holy man will follow after faithfulness in all the duties and relations in life… Holy persons should aim at doing everything well, and should be ashamed of allowing themselves to do anything ill if they can they can help it… They should strive to be good husbands and good wives, good parents and good children, good masters and good servants, good neighbours, good friends, good subjects, good in private and good in public, good in the place of business and good by their firesides.

12.) Last, but not least, a holy man will follow after spiritual-mindedness. He will endeavour to set his affections entirely on things above, and to hold things on earth with a very loose hand… He will aim to live like one whose treasure is in heaven, and to pass through this world like a stranger and pilgrim travelling to his home. To commune with God in prayer, in the Bible, and in the assembly of his people – these things will be the holy man’s chief enjoyments.  He will value every thing and place and company, just in proportion as it draws him nearer to God…

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Steps to Overcoming Temptation

Here’s a helpful (and short) video at Desiring God, featuring David Mathis and DA Carson on the issue of how to respond to temptation in our lives.

And while you’re at Desiring God, please make sure to check out this post on 10 resolutions for mental health.

Have a great day,
Dale

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Are You A Double-Minded Man?

James 1:8 tells us,

he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Let me ask you a few questions that relate to this issue of being double-minded…

• Are you the same guy at home with your family as you are at church?
• Are you the same guy at church as you are work?
• Are you the same guy when you’re “out with the guys” that you are here in this group?
• Are you the same guy with your family as you are sitting alone in front of the computer or television screen?
• Are you the same guy away on a business trip as you are at home?
• How radically different is your thought-life from your public persona?

Those are some pretty tough questions. And while none of us probably moves from sphere to sphere – from group to group – with perfect consistency, we still need to ask the question: How wide are the gaps?

Part – perhaps most – of that consistency will come from how “integrated” our lives are regarding our relationship with God.

Now obviously, the words “integrated” and “integrity” come from the same root word. One of the dictionary’s definitions for integrity that I thought was quite helpful for our discussion was this:

“the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished.”

The double-minded man, however, is not a man known for his integrity, but his duplicity. Duplicity means…

“deceitfulness in speech or conduct; speaking or acting in two different ways concerning the same matter with intent to deceive.”

The duplicitous man does not have integrity. He is not whole, entire, or undiminished. He has no unifying factor that keeps him whole.

But the Christian man, the man of God, does have such a unifying factor. The question is: Does he make use of it? Is he related or connected to it? This unifying factor isn’t an “it” at all. I’m talking about God.

You see, we’re called to be God-centered men who are living God-centered lives. Such a man will not speak, think, and act differently and deceptively with different people and in different settings.

Why? Because the man of God will be vitally connected to the same God in every sphere of his life. God doesn’t change. And because this man’s life will have God as his unifying center, he won’t change either…at least not for the wrong reasons.

God-centeredness makes and keeps men whole – not men who are fragmented and compartmentalized.

Think for a minute about what the Great Commandment is. Jesus says in Mark 12:30 that we are commanded to…

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’

That’s all of our heart, soul, mind and strength. In other words, with all that we are. Our whole being. Every sphere of our lives.

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:31…

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

You’re not glorifying God in the big details or small details of your life if you’re double-minded. By the way, that’s a good way to check yourself out. Ask yourself: Am I glorifying God right now? Does this thought, word, or deed bring God glory?

A couple of Old Testament texts that really hit home are…

• 1 Chronicles 29:17a – I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. (idea of being whole-hearted)
• Proverbs 10:9 – The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.
• Proverbs 11:3 – The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.

That’s pretty clear. God expects us to walk with integrity before him and others.

This is an investigation to check out our…

• Spiritual Integrity
• Mental Integrity
• Sexual Integrity
• Biblical Integrity
• Behavioral Integrity
• Verbal Integrity
• Moral Integrity
• Relational Integrity

How are you doing in those spheres of your life? I don’t know about you but I want to be the same man in every sphere of my life:

• In private
• At home with my family
• At work
• At church
• With my friends

I want to be the same guy regardless of whom I’m with… and regardless of where I go. So brothers, let’s pray that God will form and shape us into the God-centered men of integrity that he’s called us to be.

Grace and Truth,
Dale

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Accountable Relationships

Some brief thoughts on developing accountable relationships…

2 Corinthians 13:5 – “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you–unless, of course, you fail the test?”

Examining yourself a couple of times throughout each year isn’t a bad idea. In fact, some consider it a key to your Christian growth. It helps you assess whether or not you are moving forward in your relationship with Christ, standing still…or actually moving backwards.

To mix the metaphor, if we are not swimming with all our might toward our goal (which is our Christlikeness) then we are either swimming toward the wrong goal, remaining in the same place, or drifting backwards…all three of which are harmful to our spiritual health. But rejoice, if you are truly in Christ then there is good news. The apostle Paul says in Philippians 1:6 that he was confident that God who began a good work in you would carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. In other words, God’s not going to give up on you.

So pray for a fresh filling of God’s Spirit in your life to help you can persevere in “swimming” the race set before you. And rejoice that you don’t have to swim it alone. It is vital to remember that it is the Spirit of God who gives you the power, desire, and direction to finish the race.

And yet, there are also brothers and sisters in Christ who are invested in seeing you finish well in your journey with Christ. Such accountability with others can be a wonderful help. It can be a faithful tool in the hands of godly friends. But it often takes time to develop such trusting and open relationships with such people. Yet it’s worth the effort.

Below are some links to some great articles on the subject of accountability as well as some pages of penetrating accountability questions for you to ponder regarding how you’re doing in your faith.

And, as always, let me know what I can do to help you. It’s why I’m here.

[PS - Wow! What a mess of mixed metaphors that was!]

Accountability Resources

Accountability by Ken Boa – Great article on the subject. A must read.

Are You Leading A Hazardous Life? by Jeff Miller – These are the questions/statements that I read aloud this morning.

How to Conquer a Secret Thought Life by Pat Morley – Morley knows men. This is a great article on dealing with the garbage that’s already in your head…and how to keep more garbage from finding its way into your head.

How to Have an Accountable Relationship by Pat Morley – Good practical tools on how to gather with other men for the purpose of holding one another accountable in your faith…which includes every sphere of your life.

Accountability Questions by Ramesh Richard

More Accountability Questions from the ministry, “Men of Integrity“

ACCOUNTABILITY:Pursuing Vital Relationships, Part One: Getting Ready by Jim Clayton

ACCOUNTABILITY:Pursuing Vital Relationships, Part Two – Play Ball! by Jim Clayton

I hope these resources will serve you well as you pursue the likeness of Christ in your life…for every sphere of your life.

Grace and Truth,
Dale

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Personal Reform (Apostleship of Prayer)

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Tedder’s Top Ten: Spiritual Formation

Talk of spiritual formation is all the rage. I just read an article by Dallas Willard in which he said that, in some circles, it seems as though spiritual formation is quickly approaching “fad” status. But, of course, pursuing God, renewing our minds, and transforming our lives into the likeness of Christ should be anything but a fad. It should be the very purpose of our existence.

Below are some websites that I have found very helpful in my own spiritual formation. As always, let me know any that I have missed and I’ll see about adding them as a postscript.

The Lord bless you as you seek to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Joy and Truth,
Dale

1.) Reflections Ministries - Ken Boa’s ministry. What else can I say about Ken Boa that I haven’t already said several dozen times? Ken’s website keeps getting better and better. There are articles, audio, video, blog posts, etc. And, he has a great store to purchase his products. Well worth your time.

2.) The Center for Biblical Spirituality - Donald Whitney’s ministry. Donald Whitney is a gem. I’ve read most of his books and have used his fantastic book on the spiritual disciplines as my curriculum for a class I have taught. Whitney’s website also continues to improve and become more and more user-friendly.

3.) The Fellowship of Ailbe - T.M. Moore’s ministry. I don’t know if Moore would consider himself as one who writes primarily on spiritual formation, but it certainly seeps through all his writing (which is prolific). I don’t think I’ve ever read anything by Moore which didn’t bless me tremendously. I feel like a broken record, but Moore’s website also continues to improve. It’s a real treat to check out.

4.) Transforming Center - Ruth Haley Barton’s ministry. Barton is very insightful and has been a big help to me. Her book, Sacred Rhythms, is well worth purchasing. Lots of good resources at her website.

5.) Dallas Willard - Not the world’s greatest website… but it’s loaded with Willard’s writing (and some audio) which makes it priceless. Folks will be reading Willard’s books 100 years from now, if Jesus doesn’t return before then.

6.) Renovare - The good folks at Renovare are veterans in the world if spiritual formation. Great website. Lots of resources. Their tagline, “becoming like Jesus,” says it all. You can’t be a serious student of spiritual formation without checking them out.

7.) NewWay Ministries - Larry Crabb’s ministry. Helpful website. But the real value here is their training in spiritual direction. I think I’m going to look into this myself. Good stuff.

8.) David Benner - I’m really including him because his books are so good, especially Sacred Companions and Care of Souls. Very deep. I think he has to be read several times before understanding kicks in.

9.) Gary Thomas - Great website. Very helpful and easily accessible resources. I’ve only recently been introduced to Gary Thomas, but from all that I can tell, he’s a real blessing. I look forward to learning more about him and from him.

10.) A Tie: Conversations Journal and Journal of Spiritual Formation and Soul Care

I hate limiting such a rich topic to only ten (or, in this case, eleven) websites. So here are some other names of people and ministries you will want to check out: John Ortberg, Monvee, b-ing.org, Formatio at IVP, Institute for Spiritual Formation at Biola, Jan Johnson, Metamorpha, The Upper Room, The Academy of Spiritual Formation, Pierre Eade

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