New Marriage Class Coming in January

Beginning this January, as part of our Wonderful Wednesday programming, my wife, Suzanne, and I will be leading a new study based on the book, Love & Respect, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.

Two subtitles of the book shed a little light on the title. One is, “The Love She Most Desires.” The other is, “The Respect He Desperately Needs.” The touchstone text for this book is found in Ephesians 5. There the Apostle Paul writes…

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-33)

Suzanne and I are still hammering out some of the details of how we’re going to teach this class. However, what we can say right now is that after the first session (where everyone will be together), we’re going to break the class into the two groups – husbands and wives. Knowing that not all couples will be able to attend this class together due to volunteer issues, work issues, etc., we wanted to make sure that those obstacles wouldn’t hinder a husband or wife from still attending on their own.

I feel compelled to add that nothing I do as a pastor makes me feel as hypocritical as leading a class on marriage. I’m working hard in this area, but I want everyone to know that this is very much a “do as I say, and not as I do” sort of thing. For this study I promise to do my best… to study hard, teach the book, lead the discussion, and try to add value in as many ways as possible. But in no way should I be looked at as an expert who has got it all figured out and who is executing the plan with perfect precision!!! Now, Suzanne on the other hand, is a well-oiled marriage-machine who is really going to bless the women.

So, as it stands right now, we’re going to start this study with an Introduction on Wednesday evening, January 9th, right after our fellowship dinner (which I hope you can also attend). We will meet that evening in the Family Life Center here at Southside.

Also, please let me know if you’re planning on being a part of this class so that we can prepare as well as possible.

Suzanne and I are very excited about leading this new study. Pray for us over the next few weeks as we prepare and iron out the remaining details. I think it’s going to be a great time of growing  more and more as the husbands and wives that God has called us to be.

Blessings,
Dale

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2013 – Time for Men to Step Up

What does it mean to be a man? How would you define it?

When does a boy become a man?

When he turns 18? When he starts driving? Graduates from school? Gets married? What answer would you give a boy to that question?

I’m very excited to announce that beginning this January,  we’re going to try to answer that question, as well as other questions related to it. Using the new curriculum, Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood, the men of our church and our community are going to discover what it means to become the man that God has called us to be. Here’s a clip…

In the twelve years of this ministry to men, I don’t think that I’ve ever been this excited over a new study. I believe that there is a great need for a rediscovery and renewal of godly manhood in our culture today. I pray that God will use this study to make a powerful impact in the lives of the men who gather each week to participate… and therefore, also impact their families, workplaces, communities, etc.

Requirement to be a part of this study…

You are not required to be an expert on the Bible or Systematic Theology.

What you will need is the desire to become the man that God has called you to be… at home, at work, at church, in your community… and even alone. None of us has yet become that man, but that desire is a step up and a step in the right direction!

Here’s a little more about the study…

Many men find it difficult to identify acts of courage while slogging through the daily challenges of home, work, and community. Yet these are the very battlefields where courage is demanded of them every single day.

In this 10-session video series, Dennis Rainey calls men to boldly forge into courageous manhood. Stepping Up defines courage throughout the five stages of manhood and commissions men to honestly evaluate where they stand in their duties of masculinity. Rainey then prepares men to bravely master their life purpose by developing a strategic plan and establishing a winning vision.

You can master true leadership, develop a plan for your life and make a difference in your world.

(from the back of the study guide to Stepping Up.)

Our new study begins on Monday evening, January 7th (at 7pm in our Family Life Center)… or on Wednesday morning, January 9th, (at 6:30am, also in our FLC).

You do not have to be a member of our church (Southside United Methodist Church) to come and join us. This study is open to all of the men in our community. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call me at 396-2676 or email me at D.Tedder@southsidemethodist.org.

Let’s pray that God will use this new study to help us STEP UP and STAND FIRM.

Blessings,
Dale

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Growing Boys Into Men (with Mark Driscoll)

Per my post yesterday, I thought this was a pretty good follow-up by Driscoll on the same subject. This video is part of a new men’s curriculum called Stepping Up, produced my Family Life.

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Training Your Son for Manhood

As one who spends much time working with men, the question of what it means to be a man comes to my mind often.

What is a man?

When does a boy become a man?

Questions like these are important to ask and even more important to answer well. And, of course, as a Christian I want to answer those questions biblically.

In about five days my oldest son will turn 13 years old. (I will have two teenagers in the house. I give thanks to God that I have such a wise, godly, mature, and hilarious daughter who has helped my wife and me ease into parenting teenagers.) I know there’s nothing inherently magical about the age of 13, but it does seem like a fitting time for a boy to start thinking about manhood… what it means to be a man. It is also crucial, I think, that he begins to be treated in such a way… greater responsibilities, decision-making opportunities, etc. (all under the careful direction of his parents). Those in the Jewish tradition certainly have found a wonderful way to highlight this time in a boy’s life.

Of course, parents shouldn’t wait until their son turns 13 to begin this process. Hopefully, “manhood training” begins at birth. My wife and I have certainly done our best to talk to our boys, in age-appropriate ways, about what it means to be a godly man. Yet, beginning on our sons’ thirteenth birthdays, there will be greater focus and intentionality on helping our sons navigate this time in their lives. I get to put my money where my mouth is in less than a week.

This is all still a work in progress, however, I have been thinking a great deal about how my oldest son and I might spend our time together. (There are some helpful books on raising sons and helping them move their way toward becoming godly young men. I’ll mention them at the end of this post.) Robert Lewis of Men’s Fraternity wrote an outstanding book entitled, Raising A Modern-Day Knight. In that book he makes much of the idea of marking vital times in your sons’ lives with various kinds of ceremony. For the age of 13 he suggests taking your son out to dinner (spend some money on it… not fast food). The purpose of this meal is to mark in your son’s heart and mind the reality that he’s moving toward manhood and will be treated accordingly. This time together can be an opportunity to share stories of your own childhood and journey toward manhood. It can also include hopes and dreams and actual plans for how the two of you will spend the next five years together before he turns 18.

My goal is to spend one morning a week intentionally discipling my son, (away from our home), working through the Bible as well as other helpful books on the subject of godly manhood. It will be a time of checking in with him, praying with and for him, seeing how’s he’s doing, focusing on particular issues in his life, etc. But most of all it will be a time for continuing to build and maintain a close relationship with him. Following our time of focused discipling, we’ll go and grab a bite to eat together and just chat about whatever may come to mind.

Beyond this set-apart intentional time of discipleship, my wife and I want to emphasize to our son that he will have greater responsibility in his life, which we hope to follow through with and give him. Yet there will also be greater privileges as well, which we’re still working out. More to come on all of this later. I’m also checking into how he and I might spend more time together away from home… whether it’s traveling together, attending conferences, outdoor activities, or other types of adventures.

My point in sharing all of this is not to show you that I’ve got it all figured out. I’m quite certain you’ve realized that I don’t. As I said, all of this is in process and I’m sure there will be many failed efforts. My purpose is not to present to you a finished and polished product. Instead, I want to emphasize that we must be intentional in pointing our sons to manhood. The world is only too happy to tell your son what it means to be a man. The video I shared last week by Mark Driscoll makes that point all too well (Make sure to watch it if you haven’t already.). As many others have said well, it’s a dangerous time to be a boy. The culture is certainly not invested in helping your son move in a God-glorifying direction.

A former mentor of  mine used to say often that ”the world will define you by default; the Word will define you only by discipline.” The same is true with regards to your son becoming a godly man. It will not happen by accident or by wishful thinking. It will come only by grace, faith, prayer, and lots of intentionality (not to mention persevering through it all).

I’ll do my best to check in with you and share updates of how it’s going… what’s working and what’s not. I covet your prayers as I begin this journey with my son. I desire even more that you will pray for him so that he will indeed become the godly young man God wants him to be.

Below are a few books that I have found helpful… including some that I am planning on reading through and discussing with my sons.

Grace and Truth,
Dale

1. Future Men by Douglas Wilson
2. Raising A Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis
3. The Measure of A Young Man by Gene and Kenton Getz
4. King Me by Steve Farrar
5. The Young Man in the Mirror by Patrick Morley
6. Every Young Man God’s Man by Stephen Arterburn, Kenny Luck and Mike Yorkey
7. A Young Man After God’s Own Heart by Jim George
8. Boyhood and Beyond by Bob Schultz
9. Practical Happiness by Bob Schultz

There are many other good ones that I’ll include soon.

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Mark Driscoll on Manhood

This is such a good message that I have already bribed my two oldest children to watch it. The issues of what a man is and how a boy knows when he becomes a man are so crucial for our day. There’s lots of good material available to help us think through these issues, but I must say that this message by Mark Driscoll is simply fantastic… not to mention hilarious!!!

Carve some time out of your day today and watch this video. It’s only 25 minutes long.

Grace and Truth,
Dale

 

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Tony Evans on Manhood and Fatherhood

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Pursuing Godly Manhood

Welcome to Pursuing Godly Manhood. Thanks for taking the time to stop by and check out my blog. I hope it will bless you.

• Pursuing – Striving to gain; seeking to attain or accomplish; carrying on; continuing
• Godly – Pious; devout; characterizing a Godward attitude; doing that which pleases God; indicating reverence manifested in actions
• Manhood – No one seems to know! Well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it’s not far from the truth. My desire with this blog is to help move us all forward in coming to a better understanding of such an important subject as “manhood.”

Why Focus on Manhood?

While I serve my present ministry appointment in a variety of ways (related to discipleship), ministering to men has been a special focus and passion of mine for over a decade now. I can still remember when the light bulb went off for me regarding the importance of ministering specifically to men. The avalanche of statistics as well as my own ministerial observations began to sink in. I finally realized that what I had read dozens of times was actually true. My little epiphany could best be summarized by the words that I once heard pastor and writer, Tony Evans, preach…

• As the man goes, so goes the family
• As the family goes, so goes the church
• As the church goes, so goes the community
• As the community goes, so goes the city
• As the city goes, so goes the state, then nation, and finally the world.

That’s how we will change the world for Christ… by extending God’s kingdom into every sphere of life… beginning first with ourselves and then working outward in what we might  think of as concentric circles or spheres of influence.

Of course, nothing is ever that simple. However, virtually every statistic I’ve come across – secular and Christian – has stressed that the positive influence of a man in the home is non-negotiable for health and vitality in that home, as well as for society. Therefore, I came to embrace the wisdom of, as well as to put into practice, an intentional focus on ministering to men. Additionally, as a father of three sons, I also realized that the best time to influence men is before they’re men… that is… when they’re still young men and boys.

Purpose of this Blog

My purpose and calling is to love and glorify God by helping men become all that God has created, redeemed, and called them to be in every sphere and circumstance of their lives.  (I go into more detail of what this “purpose statement” means on my “Vocation” page). It ought to go without saying, though I dare not go without saying it, that this is not a “self-help” blog. My fundamental premise is that no man, woman, or child can become godly until they first respond in faith to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Only then can God’s Spirit and Word renew minds, renovate hearts, and transform lives.

My emphasis for this blog is pretty wide. I will focus on what I call the seven spheres of godly manhood: Worldview, Holiness, Family, Vocation, Culture, Witness, and Leadership. You will find out more about each of those spheres by visiting those pages on the blog. Those are broad and far-reaching themes to be sure, but I believe that they represent those areas of our lives that either relate to the spheres that influence us or those spheres where we have opportunity to influence others for Christ and his Kingdom.

Let me finish up with this “4 Sakes Prayer” that I found at the end of Jack Graham’s book, A Man of God:

For the sake of the Kingdom, For the sake of my family, For the sake of God’s Church, And for the sake of our nation, I will become a man of God.

Grace and Truth,
Dale Tedder

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