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Posts Tagged ‘Children’

As David Powlison says in his Forward to Tedd Tripp’s Shepherding Your Child’s Heart, “most books on parenting give you advice either on how to shape and constrain your children’s behavior or on how to make them feel good about themselves.” Of course, neither of those objectives is completely wrongheaded… they just shouldn’t be a parent’s primary objective. Tripp puts well what should be our primary objective with these words…

God is concerned with the heart – the well-spring of life (Proverbs 4:23). Parents tend to focus on the externals of behavior rather than the internal overflow of the heart. We tend to worry more about the “what” of behavior than the “why”. Accordingly, most of us spend an enormous amount of energy in controlling and constraining behavior.

When we miss the heart, we miss the subtle idols of the heart.

When we miss the heart, we miss the gospel. If the goal of parenting is no more profound than securing appropriate behavior, we will never help our children understand the internal things, the heart issues, that push and pull behavior. Those internal issues: self-love, rebellion, anger, bitterness, envy, and pride of the heart show our children how profoundly they need grace. If the problem with children is deeper than inappropriate behavior, if the problem is the overflow of the heart, then the need for grace is established. Jesus came to earth, lived a perfect life and died as an infinite sacrifice so that children (and their parents) can be forgiven, transformed, liberated and empowered to love God and love others.

from Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp

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Dr. Tedd & Margie Tripp discuss their book Instructing a Child’s Heart

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from Ken Canfield’s They Call Me Dad: The Practical Art of Effective Fathering. I really enjoyed this book. Canfield is insightful and backs up his claims with lots of helpful information. At the end of each chapter he provides many good ideas to help fathers take his information and put it into action. Even if you don’t choose to use one of his ideas, they are bound to get your creative juices flowing so that you can implement your own plan. Really good book.

Here are a few important quotes from the Introduction…

Children growing up in a home without a dad are much more likely to: get in trouble with authorities, drop out of school, make poor grades, commit delinquent acts, engage in drug and alcohol use, receive welfare, marry early, and go through a divorce as an adult.

However:

Infants who have time alone with Dad show richer social and exploratory behavior than do children not exposed to such experiences. They smile more frequently in general, and they more frequently present toys to their dad.

Children who feel a closeness to their father are twice more likely to enter college or find stable employment after high school, 75 percent less likely to have a teen birth, 80 percent less likely to spend time in jail, and half as likely to experience depression

A four-decade study found that when dads encouraged their daughters to excel and achieve and were emotionally close to their sons, the daughters were more successful in school and in their careers, and the sons achieved greater status later in life.

What’s more difficult to track is the impact of a dad who lives at home with his family but has not made fathering a priority in his life. …over time these dads can cause the same pain as defacto dads.

Dads, your attention to fathering will either yield life and good to your child, or death and evil. Therefore choose life so that you, your children, and your children’s children may live!

Dad, if you do not become attentive and involved in the lives your children, you are putting them at risk. It is your God-given responsibility – and your privilege – to be the best father you can be to your children.

When we invest in the hearts of our children and seek God’s best for their lives, we are sending a powerful blessing into our world as well as to future generations. Our influence can be exponential.

As fathers we need to promote an ethic, a movement, and a lifestyle that engages our faith and our fathering. This movement calls us to make being a father one of the highest acts of spiritual service, because unless we have renewal, our nation’s legacy will be brokenness and suffering instead of blessing. However, if we take action, we can bring life and renewal to our households and restore the land.

Fathering requires action. It’s more than knowing the right information; it’s applying that information.

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Deliver us, good Lord, from the excessive demands of business and social life that limit family relationships; from the insensitivity and harshness of judgment that prevent understanding; from domineering ways of selfish imposition of our will; from softness and indulgence mistaken for love. Bless us with wise and understanding hearts that we may demand neither too much nor too little, and grant us such a measure of love that we may nurture our children to that fulness of manhood and womanhood which thou has purposed for them; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Taken from The Pastor’s Prayerbook, 1960

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Unto The Next Generation

Deuteronomy 4:9 – Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

Lord, a family friend planted fruit trees, although years would pass before anyone benefited from his action. I realize that it takes a special individual to plan for the next generation. Develop an obligation in me to pass on what I have received and add to it. Let me plant seeds in my children’s hearts. May I nourish them so they grow into honest and upright citizens who reflect their Creator. Amen.

Children of Power

1 John 5:14-15 – This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him.

Heavenly Father, I pray my children will understand that they can make a difference through prayer. May they recognize your power and what they can accomplish when they pray in your will. May they pray daily so that they will grow in faith and become the Christian leaders this country needs. I ask you to anoint them with wisdom and give them strength and protection. My desire is that they choose to walk in your will all their days. Amen.

Taken from Prayers with Purpose for Men, Barbour Publishing, Inc. 2010

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(I thought I might share this devotion again. I wrote it a few years ago.)

John 12:24-26

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. [25] The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. [26] Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

In our scripture Jesus is teaching his disciples that he is going to die, but that he must if they would live. A kernel of wheat must die if it would produce many seeds.

Why hasn’t reformation and revival broken out across the church at Southside…or any other church around us lately? There are perhaps many reasons, but could one reason be that we are holding on too preciously and tightly to our own lives – unwilling to die – so that we might reproduce many seeds through our deaths? Do we love our lives too much in this world, so much so, that we are actually losing our lives?

My life for yours. Genuine, substitutionary, and sacrificial living. Following and serving our King wherever he may lead…to whatever end. This brings honor from the Father. This glorifies the Father.

My life for yours. Training and nurturing our children in the Lord – when we rise, when we go to bed, as we live throughout the day, when it’s convenient, when it’s inconvenient – making sure that our children are not merely “taught at” but saturated in the things of God each day, all day – because they are eternal beings and heirs of the King. “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”

Are we leaving a godly legacy to and for our children and our children’s children for a thousand generations? Are we dying so they can live – really live? Can we think outside our individual lives to see how our own deaths will extend the Kingdom of God by producing many seeds? Will we believe the promises of God that he has made regarding faithful, covenantal parenting? My life for yours and for a thousand generations after you. Talk about a payoff!

But this is hard. That’s why it’s called death. Death to self. It is intentional, committed, disciplined. It’s every day, all day. It’s the discipling of our children because it is our joy, blessing, and responsibility before God to do so. Our lives for theirs. The Kingdom of God grows in such ways. Darkness is engulfed by light through such ways. Reformation and revival are ushered in through such faith and obedience. God promises blessings to such as these.

We must die. We must do with less stuff if it means more time with our families. We must wrestle with our children at the end of the day…even when we are tired. We must discipline our children, even when we would rather not. We must cast a God-glorifying vision before our children (and reiterate it every day) of who they could be for Jesus. We have to read great stories to our children (even when we’d rather doze off) so that their imaginations can ignite as they put themselves in the places of the characters in the stories. We have to read to them about the heroes of the faith who have gone before us, so that they might see how others have given themselves for Christ and his Kingdom. We absolutely must teach our children who our God is – his person, plan, power, purpose and so on. We must drive home again and again what the gospel is and is not (after all, we’re not trying to merely make better citizens or “behaviorally correct” robots). We must teach them grace and show them grace. They must learn what it means to know, love, and follow Christ. They have to understand that our faith is a total world and life view that addresses every sphere of life.

We are called to create Christian cultures in our homes though the power of God’s Word and Spirit, that those cultures might spill out into every other sphere of life. This is first and foremost our (the parents’) responsibility, not others…not even the church. Our lives for theirs. We must die so they can live.

Can we let go? Of our wants, things, desires, passions – our very lives? We must if we would find real life – abundant life – eternal life. Life in service to the King is not our own…it’s better. Only in dying are we raised. Only in dying are more seeds produced, and therefore, more fruit. Our lives for theirs.

From our commitment and hard daily labor now, what might God do in response? Might he use one of our children, (or one of our children’s children), to bring many to Christ, to redeem the culture, to usher in reformation and revival in the church, to extend the Kingdom of God as never before? We have every reason to believe he will! But we must die. We must fall to the ground and die. We must hate our lives in this world. We must give our lives for our children’s lives, and for their children after them, that God might be pleased and choose to honor us by blessing those for whom we gave our lives.

My life for yours. Our lives for theirs. This is biblical faith.

Grace and Truth,
Dale

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Daily Prayers for Your Children
by Randy Popineau (at Family Life.com)

Editor’s Note: Like many American parents today, Randy Popineau spends hours in the car, ensuring that his three children make it safely to school, church, and recreational activities. Longing to invest that time, he began praying through the commute. In time, this pastor and FamilyLife supporter created a long list, praying indepth for each child each day on one subject. He offered that list to FamilyLife, and we have included a sampling of his topics below. Consider creating a prayer list for your children—for those moments when you can concentrate on them as the wonderful gifts from God that they are.

Pray that your children might…

  • Seek godly wisdom (Proverbs 2:2, 5-6)
  • Establish a craving for God’s Word (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)
  • Understand that sin has consequences (Numbers 32:23)
  • Be obedient to authority (Colossians 3:20)
  • Live under God’s hedge of protection (Job 1:10)
  • Recognize God’s voice (John 10:27)
  • Be not swayed by temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13)
  • Nurture a spirit of peace and not of complaining (Philippians 2:14)
  • Develop a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit’s conviction (John 16:8)
  • Develop a lasting love for siblings (Psalm 133:1)
  • Enjoy peaceful sleep (Proverbs 3:24)

Pray that God might…

  • Continue the good work that He has begun in your children (Philippians 1:6)
  • Protect them for a godly spouse (2 Corinthians 6:14)
  • Allow discipline to shape godly character (Hebrews 12:11)

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