EVERY Sphere of A Man’s Life

For over two decades I’ve been using some version of the phrase, “faith for every sphere of life.” I first started thinking about this obvious nature of our faith (that it’s for every sphere of life) as I began a deep study of the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Two of the books that helped with my “aha” moment were Richard Baxter’s Christian Directory and John Frame’s The Doctrine of God.  (click here for more about Richard Baxter)

What attracted me so much to the idea of finally understanding our faith being authoritative and relevant for every sphere of life (besides the fact that the Bible teaches it) was that I, like soooo very many other men, had long been an adherent of a compartmentalized faith. Men, you know the drill: the Christian faith is fine for Sunday mornings, etc., but it has nothing to do with the rest of your life. It’s embarrassing to “say” out loud, but that’s the truth of where I was.

Since that time I have observed that a wholistic view of the Christian faith, whether practiced or not, is gaining some traction (at least by most folks in the church). The secular world would still prefer for the Church to remain silent about anything not having to do with worship on Sunday mornings. Faith, they say, is private. You can’t bring it into the public square. Of course, that’s ridiculous, and I’m not going to spend time responding to that. Others far more articulate than I have thoroughly dismantled such a view.

At any rate, over the years I’ve tried to use various phrases that capture my deep and abiding commitment to the notion that my faith applies to every sphere of my life because Jesus Christ is Lord over every sphere of my life. (My most recent “brainstorm” for this idea that has helped me wrap my mind around it is Kingdom Discipleship.) I have loved Abraham Kuyper’s quote that says something along the lines that there is not a square inch in all the universe about which Christ does declare, “Mine!”

As a United Methodist, I have naturally rejoiced that John Wesley took just such a view of the Christian faith. He called it Scriptural Holiness and said that it was his purpose in life to spread Scriptural Holiness over the land (which, for him, was England). For Wesley, holiness was inward and also outward. It was personal and it was also social. There was no picking and choosing. Faith should permeate every aspect of a Christian’s life – marriage, parenting, work, economics, politics, education, the arts, personal morality, relationships, civic duty and serving the community, etc., etc., etc. One book that has served me well in attempting to understand this concept from a Wesleyan perspective is Mack Stokes’ little book, Scriptural Holiness for the United Methodist Church. I highly recommend it… if you can find it. (Update: Joseph Slife at Methodist Thinker, sent me this link to purchase Stokes’ book. Many thanks Joseph!)

Brothers, I would encourage you to pray over what it would mean to you to understand that there is not even the smallest corner in your life over which Jesus Christ, as Lord, does not shout, “Mine!” How would acknowledging and submitting to that truth change your life? How would it bless your relationship with your family and friends? What consequences would that have for you in your workplace? Can you imagine the possibilities? Men, Christ is calling you to follow him in every sphere of your lives. Do you hear him? Will you follow him?

Grace and Truth,
Dale

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Tedder’s Top Ten: Men’s Ministry Websites

This one is near and dear to my heart. I’ve written many times about ministering to men, how important it is, etc.

For this Top Ten I wanted to share some of the websites that have blessed me regarding ministry to men. However, because I’ve come across so many helpful websites on this subject, carving this down to ten is, I’m sure, an injustice to others that ought to be included.

Part of my criteria for choosing which websites make my Top Ten list is that the website has to be useful. In other words, the ministry that a website represents may be phenomenal and doing great things for the Kingdom. However, if the website itself doesn’t do much more than tell me a few interesting things about the ministry, then it’s not very useful as an online resource. Thus, the websites I like most are the ones that provide articles, devotionals, podcasts, YouTube videos, social media connections, newsletters, etc. That’s how I decided which ones to include on this and every Top Ten list.

PS – The following websites are focused more on ministering to men “in general.” I’ll include Top Ten lists later that will focus on top websites for fathers, top websites for husbands, etc.

This list is in no particular order… except for the first one, because I believe it is far and away the best.

1.) Man in the Mirror Ministries with Pat Morley – Morley and company are the premier thinkers in the world of ministering to men. Their website is super user-friendly. You can read countless articles on men’s ministry, men’s issues, etc. You can download and listen to men’s Bible studies taught by Morley or watch them online. You can also sign up for a number of training events that Man in the Mirror holds or purchase some fantastic resources online. Great website that goes well with an incredible ministry to men.

2.) Every Man Ministries with Kenny Luck

3.) Top Gun Men’s Ministries

4.) Men’s Stuff at CrossWalk.com

5.) New Man Magazine

6.) Men’s Ministry at Bible.org

7.) Church for Men

8.) Disciple Men.com

9.) Christian Businessmen Connection

10.) Men’s Ministry Catalyst

Honorable Mention

• Live Bold (just discovered this one today) Looks like it may have some good possibilities.

If you want to check out some of the other websites for ministry to men, click here. I’ve realized that it’s not updated. I’ve come across some others recently that, while they might not make my Top Ten list, are still very fine websites and worth looking into. If you know of one not included, please let me know and may add it to the Honorable Mentions.

Grace and Truth,
Dale

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Some Thoughts on Being a Paul, Timothy, and Barnabas

The men’s weekly discipleship ministry at our church just began a new study this week on 1 Timothy and Titus. I think it promises to be a fantastic study.

This week I taught the introduction to both letters from the Apostle Paul to his young ”sons in the faith” and it got me thinking about something I wrote a few years ago. Each one of us is called to be a Paul (discipler), a Timothy (disciple), and a Barnabas (encourager) to another man. This is what it means to extend the Kingdom of God by pouring or investing ourselves into the lives of other men. This idea of building relationships with other men was central to the ministries of Jesus and Paul. It should be key for us as well.

Below is the piece that I wrote with only a few minor tweaks. If we would be the faithful men of God that we are called to be, we need to be involved in the the spiritual reproduction process that we find lived out by our Lord and his Apostles.

Grace and Truth,
Dale

**********

I’ve been studying the idea of one-on-one discipleship a great deal lately. In my reading, I’ve been re-reminded (for the thousandth time) of how important one-to-one ministry really is. As a man pours or invests his life into the life of another man, real growth can occur in remarkable ways. Our faith has been passed down through the centuries in this way (this does not of course, exclude the preaching of God’s Word in corporate worship nor the vital ministry of small groups).

A helpful way of thinking about one-on-one ministry is to think about three names: Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy. Below is a description of what each one means as we think in terms of ministering to other men.

1.) Paul – someone to mentor us (or disciple us) along the road of faith and life. This is someone who has traveled farther down the road of faith and life than we. This person doesn’t have to be a great deal older than we, but it probably ought to be someone who has walked faithfully with God long enough and far enough for us to profit from his wisdom, reflected-upon experience, study of God’s Word, etc. And usually, though not exclusively, this person I’ve just described will be older than you as well. But, as I said, sometimes this means “older in the faith.”

But beware of someone who says he has been a Christian for 25 years when in reality, he has been a Christian for one year…25 years in a row. In other words, there has been no growth and maturity for 25 years. My own observation as a pastor for 19 years is that this sort of person abounds in the church. There are many people who, by their own admission, haven’t learned any more about God’s Word and walking along the road with him, than when they were children in Vacation Bible School. You have to be careful about this.

Also, just because a person is at the top of his game in his profession, does not mean he is likewise mature and advanced in his faith. Success in one field of endeavor doesn’t necessarily mean success in another area of life. As I heard one person describe it, a man may have a Ph.D. in psychology, but have a second grade Sunday school degree in Bible. This is not the sort of person you want to have as your Paul.

2.) Barnabas – someone to encourage us and hold us accountable along the road of faith and life. This is more or less a mutual friendship or, what’s called in the world of spiritual formation, a “spiritual friendship.” In the book of Acts, Paul and Barnabas traveled together side by side. Barnabas was a key person in Paul’s life…especially at the beginning of his conversion to Christ and introducing him to the Christian community. Their relationship then became one of mutual encouragement and accountability.

There are men I have discipled for years who have gone from being a Timothy in my life to becoming a Barnabas to me. And while I can still disciple them, they also minister to me in many ways.

3.) Timothy – someone we need to help guide us along the road of faith and life. This is generally someone who has not traveled as far as we have in our walk with Christ. However, they are marked (or should be) by an eagerness to grow in their relationship with Christ and are humble enough and teachable enough to receive what you have to say and interact with you on the things of faith and life.

This “mark of a Timothy” should not be ignored for the sake of just having a Timothy. There are many smart guys out there who don’t have teachable spirits. They feel they have nothing to learn from another man. So too, some are apathetic regarding the things of God. Timothy, Paul’s “son in the faith,” as Paul called him, was humble, teachable, and eager to know God, love God, and follow God through Jesus Christ. A Timothy shouldn’t expect to only receive guidance and wisdom from his Paul, but should expect to become a Paul himself one day so that he can begin the whole process over again with another man.

Obviously this is a process that ought to last a lifetime and be produced, reproduced, and multiplied over and and over and over again throughout his lifetime in the men that he pours his life into. We are Christians today, humanly speaking, because those who went before us were faithful to this process.

Basically, we need to be a Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy and to have a Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy. So here is a really obvious question: Who is your Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy?

If I can help you in one of these capacities, it would be a blessing for me to serve you in such a way.

Blessings,
Dale

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Who Are You Living For?

Let me say that I really, really loved the second chapter of Steve Sonderman’s book, “Mobilizing Men for One-on-One Ministry.” I felt like it was an encapsulation of my ministry… or at least the ministry I desire to have. The best summary of this chapter can be found in a quote he shares from Dietrich Bonhoeffer…

The righteous person lives for the next generation.

Isn’t that great…and right on target? I love it.

In this chapter, which he entitled, “What One-On-One Ministry Looks Like,” Sonderman uses Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians (specifically, 2:1-13) to highlight what the ministry to men that he is describing and recommending looks like. In this text Paul says…

    You know, brothers, that our visit to you was not a failure. [2] We had previously suffered and been insulted in Philippi, as you know, but with the help of our God we dared to tell you his gospel in spite of strong opposition. [3] For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. [4] On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. [5] You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed–God is our witness. [6] We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else.
    As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, [7] but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. [8] We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. [9] Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you.
    [10] You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed. [11] For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, [12] encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.
    [13] And we also thank God continually because, when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is at work in you who believe.

For Sonderman, the key to ministering to men is all about building relationships with them. The way to do this well is by investing your life into a small group of men, being fervent in prayer for them, living a consistent life before them, genuinely loving them, and ministering to them and with them through God’s Word.

He’s got some fantastic things to say in this chapter. I’m looking forward to really meditating on what he shared and praying about how I might do a better job ministering to the men in my spheres of influence.

(Click here to read my first post on this book)

Grace and Truth,
Dale

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Money, Sex, and Power: Part 2

Click here for Part 1

Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him. (2 Corinthians 5:9 NASB)

So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. (2 Corinthians 5:9 NIV)

 What is your ambition? Your goal? Is it holy? Is it to glorify God? Is it to please God? Or is your ambition for money, sex, and power? That’s how Boa starts out this lesson… by talking about holy ambition.

Boa suggests that if the deepest and  most meaningful of our ambitions and life’s pursuits are not aimed at God, then they will be nothing more than the building up of ourselves. We need to channel our ambition in a godly way, always remembering that we play to an audience of One. Only by understanding and pursuing this will we ever achieve true and genuine satisfaction. We must first seek God and his righteousness.

The main idea of this lesson is that each man is wired differently. Even though there are temptations and sins that are common to all of us, no two men are tempted in exactly the same way. We each, as Boa puts it, have our own “flesh signature.” As Romans 7 suggests, the flesh is the power of sin in our members. Our bodies in and of themselves aren’t evil, but they can be energized for good or for ill – by the Spirit of God or by the flesh.

Our old capacities of the flesh are still around. They have not been completely eradicated. Thus, we still have the ability to displease God. The difference now from when we were unbelievers is that we now are able, in Christ’s power, to please God. We didn’t have that option before we came to know Christ. Galatians 5 bears this out. Until the final resurrection, we are able to sin. But when we stand before God, that ability to sin will be stripped away from us.

And yet, even now, our sin is not the deepest “us” because we are new creatures in Christ. This is why Christianity is not primarily about moral improvement. If that’s all it was, then our deepest selves would remain corrupted and sinful and fallen. But as new creatures in Christ, Christ himself is our deepest “us.” This is why our pursuit of pleasing God is a struggle as Paul suggests in Romans 7. The old man is still clinging on, trying to influence us.

This is not an excuse for sinning. But it is an understanding of why we do so. Richard Foster says that when an unbeliever sins, he is doing precisely what he wants to do. When a believer sins, he is doing what he doesn’t want to do.

Thus, if a person sins without any remorse whatsoever, we may well ask the question of whether or not that person is truly in Christ.

All this is to say that no two men are exactly the same. We each have those particular areas that tempt us more than other areas. One man may battle lust more than anger. Another man may wrestle with greed more than fear. We are each wired differently. Even within a particular area of temptation, there are different ways in which we will experience the temptation.

Regarding this, there are three things that happen when you become a believer.

1. Some sins are quickly and immediately dealt with.
2. Some sins are gradually dealt with.
3. Some sins are besetting sins, by which Boa means fundamental flaws which never quite disappear entirely.

It’s that last category – that of besetting sins – that you need to be brutally honest about because you are going to regularly encounter them. You need to be prepared in advance to respond to the temptation that you know you will experience.

The reason you can be honest at this point is, again, because you know this besetting sin is not the deepest you. This is also why you need an accountability partner to whom you give permission to ask you from time to time about those very areas in your life. This reduces the temptation’s power because it loses its anonymity. That’s where its power is located.

The purpose in all of this is to encourage you to have a plan – a process of thinking – when you’re tempted… because you know you will be.

Stay tuned for Part 3.

Blessings,
Dale

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Every Man, God’s Man

Every Man, God’s Man
By Stephen Arterburn, Kenny Luck, and Mike Yorkey

I just started this book, which is subtitled, Every Man’s Guide to Couragious and Daily Integrity. That’s such a key phrase, I think. I have often said that the hardest part about parenting is that it’s so daily. Well, that’s also true about being a godly man. Consistency seems so elusive. We have good days and not-so-good days. But seeking to be Christlike is always our goal. This book has been out since 2003, but the ideas are as fresh and relevant as anything written today. In fact, it has recently been republished. This link will take you to the good folks at ChristianBook.com’s listing of it so that you can order it.

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, this is not a “book review.” Instead, I’m seeking to glean key ideas from the books I share (usually just focusing on a chapter at a time) so that I can share what I’m learning with you and the men I’m blessed to serve at Southside UMC. Enjoy, Dale

Introduction and Chapter One

From the Introduction

Men spend a lot of time playing to the wrong audience. “God Almighty is the only audience we need. …When we play for God, we become God’s man.”

The Three Rs of God’s Man

1.)    “Read – God’s man reads. A careful reader soaks up truth and lives it out in his life.”

2.)    “Recommit – Recommitment means relinquishing some of our rights and leading by serving. Recommitment means removing the sins that burden us down.”

3.)    “Relate – God’s man relates to God, his immediate family, and to other men.”

From Chapter One: Bogged Down in the Red Zone

The authors reference Dallas Willard, saying that before we seek to renovate our lives, we must first renovate our hearts. I couldn’t agree more with that. In fact, I’ve written on that very idea many, many times as well. The whole Bible, I believe, is predicated on the need for heart-work before life-transformation can truly take place.

This is what the Gospel of Jesus Christ does. It first puts a man into a right relationship with God through Christ (by grace through faith and repentance) and simultaneously makes that man a brand new creature with a brand new heart.

That new man of God then spends the rest of his life seeking to become (through the power and direction of the Holy Spirit and the means of grace God has provided) what God has already declared him to be – holy (or what we might call “Christlike”). This is an inside-out procedure. It involves a renovation of our character and not simply behavior modification. Our minds must also be renewed before we can really start living lives that please God and conform to the Christlikeness that God desires. “Right actions” which are not done for God’s glory and out of love for Christ are not properly motivated and thus not pleasing to God. Too many ministries today focus too much on changing behavior first. They’ve got it backwards. I believe this book seeks to straighten that out.

Kenny Luck talks about the great privilege it is to serve men by pouring himself into their lives. I couldn’t agree more. I thank God daily for calling me to such a ministry. It’s a blessing that I enjoy each day.

I once heard Tony Evans say something along the lines that if you connect with a man, his family will be blessed, then his church will, then his work, then his community, and eventually the world. Luck quotes a pastor friend of his who made this similar statement: “If you reach a man, then you reach every relationship he has.” Amen to that!

Here are some of the things that the authors will be focusing on throughout the book (These topics look great. I can’t wait to really dig in and share what I learn with you.)

• the personal benefits of having an undivided heart toward God
• how to stop resolving to change and instead experience a revolution inside
• how to move against fear and replace it with faith
• how there is no such thing as a “double agent” believer because one agent is always compromised
• how to deal with the “mole” within that bids you to indulge the dark side
• how winning or losing a spiritual foothold changes the tide of war
• how and why “80/20” thinking fails; that is, doing things 80 percent God’s way and 20 percent your way
• the importance of “marinating” your mind
• why having other men watch your back is nonnegotiable for God’s man
• how confession releases God’s power and bloodies the Enemy’s nose
• how to partner effectively and practically with the Guide – God’s Spirit
• the source of real spiritual power and how to tap it
• why perseverance is the mark of God’s man
• the purpose of building and staying within well-marked boundaries
• the need to jettison the baggage in your life
• mastering your spiritual motivation once and for all

 If that list doesn’t motivate you to go out and buy the book, I don’t know what will. I look forward to reading this book and working my way through it with you.

Blessings,
Dale

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For Men’s Discipleship at Southside on this Lord’s Day

Below is an email I sent out this morning to the men in our church’s men’s discipleship ministry (which has a good number of men who attend other churches). If you’re not a part of our fellowship, then kindly disregard the reference to our present study. But please, by all means, make full use of the prayer and prayer helps that are offered. May God use them to be a blessing in your life. (And, of course, if you live in the Jacksonville area, you are more than welcome to come and join us.)

Good Morning Brothers,

 I hope and pray that you all have a wonderful Lord’s Day today. Thank the Lord for the rain.

 This week we will study Lesson 12, “Reality Bites Again,” which focuses on Moses being falsely accused – not only by other leaders, but also by his own family. Such is the possible domain of every leader. How would you handle that sort of situation? Would you rush to defend yourself? Get revenge? Run away? We’ll talk about how Moses responded and hopefully gain some biblical clarity with how we should handle such a situation. 

 I thought I would share a prayer for your family and then some Scripture prayers for you to offer on behalf of your family members.

 Prayer for Family

O God our Father, as we begin this day, bestow upon our household that grace which shall keep us in the fellowship of the Christian way, and grant unto each one of us that guidance and control which shall maintain our hearts in peace with one another and with thee. Help and prosper us in the doing of our various duties; and defend us from inward evil and from outward harm so that when the day is ended it may leave us not in sorrow, strife, or shame, but in true unity and thankful rest; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (from the 1965 edition of the Methodist Book of Worship)

 The following Scripture prayers come from Rev. Keven Meador’s website. They have been a real blessing to me.

 Prayer for Yourself

Father, I pray that you would create a clean heart in me. O God, renew a right spirit within me. Change me and mold me into the man that you want me to be. (Psalm 51:10)

 Prayers for Your Wife (if you’re not married, you can pray this right now for your future wife)

I pray that __________ will gain a firm understanding of her secure position in Jesus Christ. Grant her the assurance of salvation. I pray that she would know that she has believed in Christ and received his salvation (1 John 5:13)

 Father, I plead that you will enable me to love __________ unconditionally. Help me show this love to her in all circumstances of our lives together (Romans 5:5).

 Father, grant me the wisdom to help __________ deal with her fears. Deliver me from adding to those fears. Grant me a special sensitivity to those fears and how to help her deal with them (Proverbs 2:6)

 Prayers for Your Children (if you don’t have any children, you can pray for those children you know, mentor, etc.)

Ask God to convict your child of his or her sin. Plead with God to show your child that he or she is a sinner in need of God’s grace and the love of Christ (Jeremiah 17:9; Romans 3:10-18, 23).

 Father, I plead that __________ will love you with all his//her heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37).

 Heavenly Father, you are the perfect Parent. You are gracious, loving, wise, and fair. You are good and right in all your dealings with your children. I plead in the name of Jesus that you will enable me to raise __________. I ask that you will give me the strength and the wisdom to mold and develop __________’s life. I cannot do this without your power or your help. I look to you and trust that you will enable me to do this for your glory and for __________’s good. (Galatians 3:26; Ephesians 1:5).

 Praying for Your Pastor

Father, I ask you make __________ a man after your own heart who will do all your will (Acts 13:22; 1 Samuel 16:7).

 Father, cause __________ to love the Word of God with all his heart and enable him to memorize and meditate on it all day (Psalm 119:97).

 Father, I plead that __________’s ministry would be fruitful and would glorify you (John 15:16; Colossians 1:28).

 Prayers for those in need of Physical Healing

Father, you created __________. You formed him/her. You knit his/her inward parts in the womb. You alone know how to make what is right in __________’s body. You alone know how to heal __________. As his/her Creator, I pray that you would grant healing to __________. Let your power envelop him/her and bring the healing that is needed (Genesis 1:26; Psalm 139).

 Have a blessed day today brothers.

In Christ,
Dale

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